Original question from Quora:

Why do I keep failing at university?

My father has a bachelors and 2 masters. My mother has an associates and bachelors. I dropped out of 2 university programs and 2 college programs. Now i work at a fastfood restaurant washing dishes and making pitas paying off debt. Why do i suck at everything.

My Answer:

The last thing you said “Why do I suck at everything.” says everything about why you are failing.

You believe you suck at everything and you fail at everything.

Imagine for a minute you were on a football team (or any other sport) and the coach told your team before the game that the other team was better and that you were going to lose. Pretty demotivating right?

Well then your team goes out and plays poorly. At halftime you are down by two touchdowns. The coach tears into the team. Tells you what losers you are. He screams that you can’t win the game.

Final score of the game - 31–0.

You lose. Are you surprised?

You shouldn’t be.

Everything the coach told you was that you were a failure and it was impossible for you to win. At some point the team believed the coach and you proved him right.

You are what you believed yourself to be - a loser.

Is that a very good coach? No way. Everything the coach did made the team believe they would lose.

Now, consider this:

You are your own coach and you are your own player. In life, you play both roles. You have to be the one to tell yourself you are going to win and then you have to prove yourself correct.

Belief is your biggest problem. You’ve taken on the identity of a failure and thus you continue to fail. You need to believe yourself to be something different.

You need to take on the identity of a successful person. Tell yourself you are successful, a winner. Then go prove yourself right.

Act like a winner. Succeed at things. Do things well. Don’t take days off. Be a champion.

You are what’s stopping you and you need to take responsibility to fix that by doing a better job of coaching yourself to victory.

Also, hang around with people who are more like what you want to become. When you hang out with people who believe they are failures, they’ll convince you of the same. Their language impacts your language. Their thoughts become your thoughts.

Figure out what you want, then go out and get it. Be relentless. Don’t let anything stop you. When you want something so bad that you work relentlessly to achieve it, most of the time you will.

You are what you believe you are. To do something different, you must believe something different.

I believe in you.

-Brian

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